Wednesday, April 30, 2014

HUMP DAY PUMP UP: START TODAY!

It's been a minute since the last HDPU. And that's not right. We're here to remedy that. See the below sick spread of PUMPJAMS.

You ever read the news? Probably not, you illiterate bastard, but that's why you're here. So here's a quick recrap of the last week: an NBA owner reconfirmed his asshole status with an unbelievable racist rant, some of those offended offered up responses that in some weird way justify that idiot's views (we're looking at you Snoop Lion/Dogg).

So yeah, it was a bad time to be PUMPED.

Let's change that!

Donald Sterling, you should know better than sharing your shitty views with the world. On audiotape, no less.

I CAN'T BELIEVE THE THINGS WE SAY! A CUTTING WORD CAN RUIN DAYS!





Look at that badass live-action cover shot. If that's not enough to get you PUMPED RIGHT NOW, then y'all better listen again.

Real quick though Donald, I GUESS IT'S YOUR RIGHT TO BE PROUD THAT YOU'RE WHITE, but let me ask you this, ARE YOU HERE FOR THE MUSIC, OR JUST TO PICK FIGHTS!?





In non-basketball news, the Brewers are off to the best start in baseball ever! If they keep up the streak, they'll go 162-0! The only undefeated team in the history of professional sports. We're already looking forward to the post season, and most pundits have the Crew winning the championship over the Vikings.

(Eat shit, Vikings fans)

Sadly, the Rays are sucking it up, which is totes unPUMPY, but my son is an adorable ball of orange fuzz that purrs a lot, and well, MY TRUE COMPASSION IS FOR ALL LIVING THINGS NOT JUST THOSE THAT ARE CUTE.

That's not totally true.






Quick little work story here. I had my one-year review last week. Killed it. BAM. As the company grows, they asked me about changing my title to better reflect what I do, yeah whatevs, just gotta keep it baller. So I shot over a list of like twelve possible titles I could live with.

Among the declined:
PUMP Director
Director of the PUMP
Client PUMP Strategist
PING PONG CHING CHONG PUMPMASTER
Grandmother with AIDS
Curator of THE PUMP

We settled on Business Development Manager

If there's one thing you walk away with this morning, slam a shot of coffee and GO FINISH THAT GODDAMN WORK PROJECT YOU'VE BEEN PUTTING OFF! LET'S START TODAY!

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